Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

Empty nest syndrom

May 16, 2008

FLY, MY SON,

Let go, and let God,

Let go, and let you be,

 It’s been long overdue.

I hear it from your voice,

From the other side of the earth.

 A note higher,

 In a sense, I hear, courage,

 I felt your confidence,

 I know the packs of the commitments to grow on your own.

 I felt it so clearly,

 So deeply thrusting in my heart.

I felt the struggles you went through all along,

 Not knowing what to do with yourself.

It’s time to let you find own light.

I became a shadow, I realized.

The unseen shadows was harder to get rid of,

 But now my son!

 You are free with your God-given wisdom.

 You now can fly into the blue skies,

With all the sun shines spread over you.

 Nothing can withhold you now,

 For my heart is open,

 To let you fly alone.

The sky is blue,

 Go ahead fly!

 Into the infinite rhyme,

 Roaming through the rays of the sun,

 Hold your head high.

 Fly my son!

 Have no fear,

But with love you have within you.

The world is out there,

It’s all waited ever so patiently,

 For you to grab every moments,

To come to renew your strength,

 It’s there to embrace you,

It’s there for you to experience,

I know you will make exquisite snap shots,

 For every moment to come….one after another…

Capture the beauties,

 Print the hurts,

Slide the disappointments.

Now right this sacred moment,

 I, as your mother, I feel free.

 Thank you my son, for your courage, endurance,

 And most of all for your potential.

 You have done it.

You pulled yourself through, so graciously, so patiently.

 Within that time and space went ever so slowly.

Fly! My son, wing it hard.

Now your wings healed finally. 

 Learn how to let your wings ride on the winds as it blows.

Jan/08 After  Eugene left for San Francisco, I realized that I truly felt it’s time to let him go, so God can guide his life, and I clearly can see myself stepping aside.

So one night, I decided to let him know how I felt and what’s in my mind and how I felt. This was my email to him that night. I got his reply back in his email said: “God, it is beautiful, thank you for that mom love you so much”.

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my poetry

May 12, 2008

It’s been there all along,

deep inside of me,

 attempting to scream out aloud,

echoes of the fear for uncertainty, 

 took me back to my dungeons.

There were times wanting to cry out,

 end up chocking with no air.

The life time collection of words,

faced no exits for the escape route,

bottled up inside, no where to hide,

 packed in to every cells,

yet entwined in the vast space it seems.

My heart is full with unseen,

unspoken words, so old,

 almost lost it’s meaning.

To express, painstakingly sorrowful memories,

with out a pity.

The beauties of nature inscribed in the colorful stones.

All the known for the truth,

 from the trials and tribulations,

making sentences to deliver on to next experiences.

Residual sadness for many hurts,

disappointments swallowed big lumps in the throat.

Its still there,

all mixed in together,

waiting to burst out,

through tiny crack if there is any,

To sing it in to the ears,

who care to listen.

To whisper the mystic realms,

for some one to understand.

Desperately more to give,

 instantaneously ready to release,

 the deepest kind, the motherly love,

needing to be recorded,

if not anything else.

As I regroup,

as I recoup what belongs to me,

 is my poetry.

Feb 03/08 leia cha

Who am I?

May 12, 2008

I will always be a single mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a meditator, a hiker for the rest of my life.

I  currently a co-maker of “It’s a secret!” Anti-Aging cream (the real maker is God)

I currently  a temporary care taker/owner of the “Velda Rose Resort Hotel and Spa ” in Hot Springs Arkansas. (the real owner is God,the bank is the temporary owner)

I currently  a temp.owner/co-care taker of the “Beach Store” in Huntington Beach California for 25 years. This boutique store I started with only $465.00 in my hand, my co-care taker is my great girls who work at the Beach Store (last 10 years were non-owner operated)

My passion was in to the “Wellness center” in Los Angeles 5 years ago, but folded by my son’s freak accident at  age 16 in jr. year in high school, the light pole at the park fell and hit his head while he was running the Cross-Country High School race meet.Thank God ! He was able to use the falling technic from Karate training, 3 times a week from when he was 4 years old paid off and saved his life!!!.

We spent last 4 years 24/7 together, getting well. because of this miracle happened, he is almost recovered,”the miracle boy” as doctors called him, yes!  He is doing well against all odds, now going through the process of growing pains(missed out on special time of puberty “adolescence”. yes! He is trying to find his center, trying to come out of trauma still…….I am proud  that he pulled himself through all this so far, as young as he is, and every time when I remember, I am so thankful……(phil,1:3)

I am so proud of my beautiful daughter who is getting her Master’s in “Public Policy”  from UCLA this June, is going to the UC Hastings Law school or UC Davis this fall.(So glad my son is there too going to school) I am so proud myself getting over the “empty nest syndrome, slowly but surely (writing poetry was the only therapy ha ! ha! I am an American,but Korean, torn between 2 languages, not good in either.)

I still have a passionate dream about a “Retreat center/Wellness center/Life coaching somewhere in California, ( It will have prayer room, meditation room, lecture/ dining hall, den/books/reading room, sound healing room, aroma /color therapy room, sauna/ massage room, chinese herb/acupuncture room, Quantum Bio Feed back therapy, automatic acupuncture/heat/accu-pressure therapy bed, Life coaching counselling room/small  group dialog room, small teepee for one person’s space/q.t(quite time) rooms in the back of the center in the nature in the woods, veg/flower gardens for every one to pitch in, will have weekly lectures and seminars, and the monthly big events, bi-yearly group trip to sacred places  around world. Any race, color, creeds, and religion will be welcomed. It will  be the place for people to come to rest their mind, body and soul to find the truth about themselves.”.know thy self????” ( The most attractive part will be the low and minimal cost to everyone who have wish to make some changes or one in their lives if it’s not radical transformations for whole self.)

The center will be part of foundation for the people who lost limbs (the funds will come from the sale of “It’s a secret” now it is  “mysimplesecret.com” Anti-Aging cream.)

I lost my left five fingers from the lawn mower accident in 1989, an aggressive single mom trying to do everything by myself, but that was the blessing I should say the least, This experience took me to the spiritual journey that I was on and still on perhaps till I die.This “De-programing standardized social main stream pressures”, “De-conditioning deep imbedded cultures”, “Un-loading psychological baggage”, “Negating what is not love”, “Practicing objectivity by not reacting emotionally but responding correctly,”and much more quests…….And I promised to myself that I can not and will not fall for my children, furthermore I strongly told myself that I will not waste my five fingers for nothing, so I was determined to get something worthwhile to replace the value of my fingers which diminished forever.

I just came out with  this “It’s a secret!”( Now it is “mysimplesecret.com”)Anti-Aging cream. I had it when I had the Wellness center in Los Angeles before my son Eugene was injured, but I let this idea hibernate for a while. No, I actually had no time or spare mind to do anything else but taking care of my son’s recovery. I really don’t have any idea what to do with this  Anti-Aging cream…….I put it on my bartender’s worst side of the face and neck ( only half side of the face) one Sat. night at the Banquet. forgot all about it. But she came to pick up her check on following Wednesday, her face was changed the other way around, better side became worse, of course. She wanted the cream and many more testimonies like that after that day on………specially at the Rose Garden Spa in the Velda Rose resort Hotel. We have strong true testimonies every day , also when we have the big conventions and big wedding parties, we  generously give away our samples. I am so delighted to hear these people say “Wow!” And they ask, “What’s in it ?”

 ” I can’t tell you that !”  It’s a secret !”

I just got domain name”itsasecretantiaging.com”, but now it has changed to “mysimplesecret.com”. But don’t know what to do next, as you can see I am a computer illiterate, I don’t even know how to spell things either, as you can see…..

I very much believe that all things will fall in to places some how, the law of attractions backing me up with full force, The Source is the energy outlet which is the Devine Energy itself is that we called GOD.

“No longer live life controlled by fear,” Eugene Kim, my son 21.

"Leia"

My Modeling years